Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Adventures with Mom, part 2

Let me pick up where I left off.....

The funeral is over so Mom and I hop back into the Electric Blue Beetle Convertible to head back home. We find our way out of the cemetery with no issue and I think we are home free...

Then the conversation became this...
Mom: "Is he pulling me over?"
Me: As I look in the side mirror and see the blue lights right on our tail, "Yes Mother, he wants you to pull over thats what the lights right on your ass mean"
Mom: "But I didnt do anything"
Me: "Doesnt matter, PULLOVER!"

Finally she pulls over and immediately starts flailing around looking for her purse...

Me: "Mom, be still and quiet or hes gonna think your crazy and SHOOT US!"
Mom: "But i cant find my purse!"
Me: :Just sit still and when he gets here we can find it!"

SO Mom rolls down ALL THE WINDOWS! Every one (I was surprised she didnt put the damn top down too!) Did I mention it's freezing outside?

So Mr City of Left Of Nowhere Policeman starts walking up to the window on my side of the car. Guess it was safer cause I was on the passenger side but whatever I put on my sweet and innocent smile and wait for him to arrive at my door....

Mr. Policeman: "Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over this fine morning?" (To me but remember I am NOT driving!)
ME: "No sir I sure don't!"
Mr Policeman: "When you went past me you were not wearing your seat belt...."

I immediately look down to check and seatbelt was on and had been on the whole time, it was alittle under the lapel of my coat but it was on..

Me: "Sir, my seat belt is on and is always on and since I have three kids I always wear my seatbelt so I can set a good example for them" (Yes, I really said that! What a suckup I am!)
Mr. P: "Well, ummmmmm, I see that, ummmmm, can I see your id?"

(REMEMBER I AM NOT DRIVING THE DAMN CAR!)

SO I reach in my purse and mom finally locates hers and we both go to hand them to him, he takes mine and not hers, he actually refuses hers!

Mr. P: "So Miss Tahoe your from city south of here? (insert cheesy grin here) What are you doing all the way up here?"
ME: (not catching on the come on) "a funeral"
Mr. P: (still smiling) I missed that, come again?"
ME: a funeral....for a family member, at the national cemetery.........(at this point he is just smiling and staring)

Mr. P: "Oh, ok, ummmmmm, well have a nice afternoon! (Hands me my id and slowly turns and gets back in his car!)

At this point I am dumbfounded, what the heck was that all about, and then I realized, HE WAS HITTING ON ME! He pulled us over to check me out! OMG, I almost died laughing cause he was not exactly my type (I mean call me picky but I like my men to have all their bottom teeth, in order and NOT the color of chewing tobacco!) My mom is still stunned that he never looked at her ID or even acknowledged her existence! For all he knew a gorilla was driving that buggy cause he only had eyes for me!

Being that my mom drives a very obvious car and all our family was behind us getting on the highway, I called my sister to make sure she hadnt seen us and gotten worried! After telling her the whole story she says to me in her attorney voice: "When he asked you why you were all the way up there you should have told him that its a F*****G Free Country, and you can go anywhere you damn well please and he can't do a F*****G thing about it?"

Um yeah, that's exactly what I said to him.....
Told you it was an adventure!
Tahoe Girl

2 comments:

Sherrie said...

ROTFL Who knew a funeral could be such an adventure? :)

sunshine and snoopy said...

That story is priceless! I love that your attorney told you to tell a cop to f off!